Monday, September 8, 2008
The pain of leaving something/someone you love for quite some time, is torturous. A few years back, after I got over my sec 3 ex-boyfriend, I promised myself not to walk down this path, but just last month, I found myself back on this familiar path. This path that leads to 2 possible endings… one, a path that walks back to God, depending on God more and emerging stronger, but a road more difficult to walk, narrower. The other, much wider, easier to walk, but a road that leads to destruction and death, an eternal separation from God. At this crucial time, which am I going to choose… life or death?
As tempting as death might sound, as tempting as run away from all these might sound to me right now, this is definitely not the desire of God. There are much more that I need to learn, much more temptations that I need to walk away from, much more hurt and pain that I need to go through in order to be healed. Much more faith in God to believe that he had empowered me to go through this.
God led me to this sermon podcast, by Mosaic, ‘resilience’… one of the most powerful sermons perhaps for me right now… the one part of your life that you don’t allow God to deal with, is the part that God wants to deal with. And God might say ‘we cannot do it, without pain’ how to achieve the power of resilience without experiencing the pain, losses, failure. Understanding the true meaning of resilience, one would realize, you cannot gain resilience from peace, but only in storms. How fast do we bounce back from hurt, failure. And how we choose to respond to it would determine how resilient we are.
As much as I want to bounce back quickly, I can’t. I don’t know what is it due to… unforgiveness? Bitterness? I have yet to discover, but I will… in time to come…
The pain continues…
violetjoy signing off~
11:18 AM
