'violety color' as what sean said (: haha!

anw, back to the main point..

today i was inspired when i saw something online..

we do not seek the approval of others.. we don't need to, and we shouldn't want to..

but humanly, sometimes, we do some things to seek their approval..

but the sad thing is, once we get 'addicted' to their approval, we got to keep doing and doing.. till one day we realize that perhaps, they are 'happy' with us only because of the things that you do.. if you stop doing, then everything stops as well, the relationship that you thought you had with that person.. conversations stops, everything just stops.

then you realize how stupid you were to do it for the sake of them, when you can do it for God and seek the approval of God, simply because i know that if I do it for God.. God will not love me a little more or a little less, simply because He loves me already.. and with His love, it is more than enough to satisfy that feeling of wanting an approval from someone.. we have that approval from the King of kings and the Lord of lords, what more can we ask for! (:

yes, until now.. you might think I am talking about myself.. in fact I am.. and i used to be really bitter about it because i felt so unfair that, I thought i had a relationship with this person, but when things happen, i see a total different side of this person towards me, and i feel betrayed, hurt, unfair, because i trusted this person..

but after this other person told me this very precious truth, i began to see things in a different way..

all that happened to me.. now she knows that she can trust me if this situation ever comes up to me again, I would be able to consider the other person's feelings and not do the same as what happened to me.. i would be able to treat the person with more love and care.. because i know how it feels like to be hurt and betrayed in that way.. and when i understood that (which was about 1 week later), i saw the bigger picture.. and i saw it from another point of view..

now I know that God is using all these to change me.. and so that when i am placed in that position and situation, i would handle things to differently.. i would be able to take in consideration of the other person..

and yes.. i am changing..

see what happens when i am given time.. this is the time that i am taking about.. i need time to think through, verbalize my thoughts and listen to other people's advices, point of views and slowly think.. (: