but one thing i know, i've lost something.. something in me that i used to be really good at, really proud about. i cannot exactly pin-point it as yet, but i know, i've lost this... this will in me to fight, do better, or even be good at whatever i do..

but no.. i refuse to let my feelings dictate how i live my life, i've been doing that for a long time now, and its bad.. and i'm going to find out.. find out what's that something that i've lost..

thinking.. i've been doing a lot of thinking..

unfortunately, i kinda realize, what this mean.. when im saying that i've been doing a lot of thinking.. it means, i havent been talking much to people.. which is why i spend more time thinking.. seriously and honestly, i don't know which is better.. thinking or talking.. but i give up, give up trying to find people to talk to, because i dunno.. half the time.. i am not sure if they really want to talk to me or not..

thinking...